Life is short, and so am I. Mo's Blog.

Spaceman Applesauce

2010-08-26T03:50:00.001-07:00

Squeezable apple sauce spotted at JFK. Is there a flight to Mars I am unaware of?

Iconic AC Roadster pedals

2010-08-24T12:22:00.001-07:00

Sneak peek at the pedals of the new Iconic AC Roadater

Components for the Iconic AC Roadster

Sneak PEEK!

Ford Worldwide Proving Grounds

2010-08-24T09:54:00.001-07:00

48 Acres of pavement.

Ford Worldwide Proving Ground

Day at the track....very cool.

Ford Worldwide Proving Grounds, Dearborn

2010-08-24T09:20:00.001-07:00

Amazing location, automotive history.

Sales Down at ComicCon 2010

2010-07-25T09:58:00.001-07:00

Despite throngs of voracious pop-culture consumers, fanboys and costume-clad collectors of every possible kink, the general consensus is that the soft economy has finally hit the Con.

Exhibitors report less than expected sales and few lines, in a marketplace known for shortages and standing room only crowds.

Interestingly, spending on now legendary free swag by brands and marketers is at an all time high, as more and more companies compete for attention from what is otherwise loyal and recession-proof audience.

The best free promo item this year was a baseball hat from HBO, to promote the much awaited season 2 of the comedy series, "Eastbound and Down". The hat came complete with Kenny Powers mullet hair.

The now famous "giant bags" flooded the ComicCon as always, with SyFy dominating with floor with massive blue backpack style bags.

Only time will tell if brands will again allocate giant marketing budgets for the 2011 ComicCon.

Eastbound and Down ComicCon Coverage

2010-07-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

Win Kenny Powers' Jet Ski

2010-07-23T20:51:00.001-07:00

ComicCon quote of the day from my Lebanese cab driver: "Without ComicCon San Diego would be very sucks."

Double Rambo!

2010-07-23T13:23:00.001-07:00

Funny Alex Pardee parody of Double Rainbow

Striperella: The Official Stan Lee Event at ComicCon 2010

2010-07-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

Striperella takes the pole at the Stan Lee event at the Chuck Jones Gallery, ComicCon 2010

Tron at ComicCon 2010

2010-07-22T17:31:00.001-07:00

New Tron movie props at ComicCon 2010

Last Airbender Kids

2010-07-22T12:11:00.001-07:00

All the kids with shaved heads dressed as The Last Airbender

Phetus stickers take over ComicCon 2010

2010-07-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

Lots of Phetus stickers are to be found, all over the ComicCon 2010

More Phetus stickers, all over downtown San Diego

The Empire State Building on a nice summer day....

2010-07-21T13:29:00.000-07:00

Empire state of mind

GoGo Internet + iPhone 4

2010-07-21T11:27:00.000-07:00

Cloud Photo Taken and Posted at 38,000'

Gremlins in India

2009-06-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

We’re staying in one of the older American branded hotels here in Chennai – the Chola Sheraton. It’s haunted by Gremlins. Of this I have no doubt.

In World War Two, airmen blamed the mythical Gremlins for random, unexplainable mechanical failures. They’ve all migrated to India, and here the entire Gremlin population seems intent on keeping us from sleeping.

Gremlins are particularly good with electrical devices, as most have Electrical Engineering degrees, and fantastically insulated pliers, which allow them to cut live wires at will.

I’ve estimated there are no less than six Gremlins living in this hotel, judging by the droppings and coordinated attacks. They’ve devised the following torture schedule for their amusement:

4:00 AM – The “Indian Two Step” boogie: Gremlin #1 turns on the television to a Hindi channel with exotically dressed people dancing about at top volume, while Gremlin #2 moves the remote to a location farthest from the bed. Gremlin #3 and #4 have arranged the low heavy furniture in an ever changing, complex pattern which allows me to get to a full walking speed before tripping over one table, while turning another into teak toothpicks by crashing down upon it. When I regained consciousness the other night at about 4:15, I was lying on the floor with no less than six 4” splinters embedded in my soft parts.

5:15 AM – The “Night of a Thousand Lights” torment: some nights, the Gremlins will turn on everything electrical in my room simultaneously. I will inevitably spring up Frankenstein style, and pinball about the room in a coma searching the walls for light switches that are not there. As soon as I have reached the farthest point from the bed and his night vision is completely wiped out, they’ll turn off ALL the lights, stranding me in a sea of darkness. When the lights went out last night, I couldn’t tell if my eyes were open or closed - I had to feel them with my fingers before crawling back to bed.

8:15 AM – The “Wake-up call HA HA”: This is a particularly embarrassing torture, which involves a phone and the whole lobby staff. Somehow, the Gremlins have figured out a way to completely control the phone next to my bed. When the woman in the lobby did my wakeup call this morning, the bedside phone was rigged to go directly to speaker mode, NO RINGING. So imagine….I’m WIPED OUT asleep, suffering a concussion, my room is completely blacked out with the curtains closed, and suddenly there’s a woman on a loudspeaker 6” from my skull.

This morning’s call went something like this I think:

Me: SNORE. SNORE. SNORE.

Woman: Mr. Freedman! This is your wakeup call!

Me: What ? What ? TURN IT OFF! Where are you? ME! VOICE LADY! HEY!
(I’m STILL ASLEEP)

Woman: Mr. Freedman, this is Kumari from the front desk, are you hearing me?

Me: Hearing? YES! Why this? What have you done with my lamb, LAMP, dammit? The Chops! The Chops!

Woman: MR FREEDMAN THIS IS YOUR WAKE-UP CALL

Eventually, I woke up, and realized what was happening. While I’m shouting sentence fragments at a busted phone, she’s downstairs thinking she’s dialed the looney hatch. I could imagine the conversation in the lobby as soon as she hung up the phone: “You know the chubby American in room 609? He must be in India for an exorcism or something!"

Malarone - Trying NOT to get Malaria

2009-06-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

While in India, we're given Malarone - it’s a medication which prevents malaria – SUPPOSEDLY.

The pills look like beige M&Ms with squared edges. The instructions state that you MUST take it every day, and at approximately the same time every day, like birth control, for it to be effective. Problem is, you have to start taking the pills 2 days before you leave, and for 7 days after you return. With the time differences - traveling for a day through 10 time zones getting here, you’d have to be Einstein to get the time right. It’s like Survivor: India, except the prize is staying healthy. My solution? Before leaving the US, I set the alarm on my Blackberry to ring every day at the same time, which like a MORON, I always get wrong, and the alarm ends up going off at 5 AM here in India, the WORST possible time.

Every night before I go to bed, I put a single Malarone and my blackberry next to the bed, along with a bottle of water. In the morning when I wake, the pill is gone. I hope I’m taking them in my sleep. I have a strange feeling that they are all under the bed, or that someone is sneaking into my room at night, and flushing them down the toilet, or painting them blue, and selling them as Viagra. I have absolutely no memory whatsoever of taking a single pill since I arrived.

Hot, hot, HOT

2009-06-23T23:58:00.000-07:00

New Delhi weather this morning: clear, windy, and hot. Hot for India, which is hot for anyone. Hot. 112 degrees and very windy. What does that feel like? Imagine standing in front of a hair dryer built for King Kong, minus the noise, and add a heat-lamp.

I walked outside the hotel for 9 seconds, and saw a camel with a deflated hump, crying. I turned on my heels and went back inside to towel off. The camel’s going to be OK – he’s in my room, drinking out of the sink in the bathroom. Pity the housekeeping staff.

I’m not built for this heat. I have nothing appropriate I can wear because in a Speedo, I’d frighten the children. And most adults.

Indian Food - Just Like France, Without the Paradox

2009-06-23T13:10:00.000-07:00

Everything tastes better in India.

Pancakes taste better.

Ingredients like whole milk yogurt and European butter combined with fresh spices and a complete abandon for all comprehensible rules of healthy cooking make for cuisine which could kill an Olympic athlete in 7-10 days. They create unimaginable combinations here –made fresh moments before you order. If you order dumplings in a Chinese restaurant, they are made from scratch - everything takes 20 minutes to reach the table.

The 24 hour “diner” in the hotel lobby serves a lamb hamburger. Yep. A hamburger made out of lamb. The lamb is ground to order, most probably fried in clarified butter, and is served with a fried egg on top. The McLamburger happy meal - comes with a plastic defibrillator toy and a $100 gift certificate to a cardiologist of your choice.

Human Keyword Game

2009-06-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

As Americans, we’re lucky in that a fair portion of the world now speaks English, which, 30 years ago, was not the case. The Internet, globalization, US entertainment and our viral culture has propagated the globe nicely with English speaking people. The only issue is, that even within the narrow scope of English, there are different names used for the same things in different places. Diet Coke is called "Cola Lite" in most countries and elevators are commonly called "lifts" in a lot of places.

When we travel, we play the "Human Keyword Game" - like trying to find the right search phrase when using Google, we're collecting the right English words for each culture. For example: in Germany, try to get a sugar substitute brought to your table using any of the following words, and all you’ll get is a dirty look:

Sweetener

Equal

Sweet & Low

Not Sugar, the other thing….(as you pantomime shacking a sugar packet)

Now, try asking for “saccharine” and you’ve got a shot. That’s human keyword searching. Knowing English is not enough – knowing the right English word is the fun, and it’s worth documenting.

Think this trivial? Riddle me this:

You’re in India, and explosive case of traveler’s diarrhea has come on as suddenly as a heart attack (what are the odds). You SHUFFLE into a hotel lobby, and approach the man cleaning the floor.

You need directions to the only place where relief can be found.

Every muscle that can be clenched is clenched. You have 5, maybe 10 more seconds. Max. Use the right words, and all is well. Choose the wrong word, and Mr. floor cleaner’s job just got a whole lot worse. Do you ask for:

The Bathroom

The Rest Room

The Men’s Room

The WC

BAM! Full diaper. The correct answer is TOILET. Thank you for playing. You need to know the right keyword to get the desired result in each place. More to come.

Fat Guy in a Little Coach Class Seat JFK-SFO

2009-05-28T14:11:00.001-07:00

Hour one: Coach seat. I’m no primadonna, I’m just large. Nicole Richie would be uncomfortable in this seat. It’s like trying to jam your ass into a lunchbox. I am currently occupying seat 22H (and part of 22J) on a 767 for a 6 hour flight. Keep the food, keep the service, I just want the business class seat. I thought we were getting fatter as a nation? When is someone going to introduce a coach-class seat that was not designed for leprechauns?

Hour two: My ass is numb….so numb, it could be used as a pin cushion for knitting needles. I’ve finished my 16th cup of coffee in hopes of shutting down my kidneys, thus forcing the plane to make an emergency landing in Colorado. Need to switch to decaf….hands shaking.

Hour three: No luck with the kidney thing, although I did manage to pressure wash the bathroom. It seems that this plane once had an orange interior about 3 coats of paint ago.

Hour four: During my third colorful hallucination, I believe someone tried to sell me food, but I’m not 100% positive. I remember a fish or a fish-like creature saying something about a turkey wrap, while it waved a cardboard box under my nose.

Hour five: At least I get to sit right next to the galley and enjoy the fragrance of the hot delicious cookies they are baking for the first and business class cabins.

Hour six: It seems that luck has finally smiled down upon me. According to one of the flight attendants, San Francisco International Airport is staffed with an expert passenger extraction team. I feel confident that this highly trained team, armed with a 9 foot prybar and a drum of Crisco will be able to free me from this seat with a minimum of bruising. They have already foamed the runway and have a proctologist on call to remove my iPod.

The REAL, real thing.

2009-04-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

It’s a little known fact, but the Coca Cola we drink in the United States is an imposter. It’s not the Coca-Cola of our childhoods, but a sad corporate compromise. It’s an exercise in corporate cost cutting, which we’ve all accepted, blindly, after the famous “New Coke Conspiracy“.

Coca-Cola is an American Institution. It’s as American as apple pie, diabetes and morbid obesity. To change it seems blasphemous, but I can tell you, we’re one of the few countries that has accepted this doppelganger into our homes.

In the US, Coca cola is made with corn syrup (HFCS) instead of real sugar, to save a few pennies. In Europe, Mexico and even in India, Coke is still made with pure, expensive, fat-producing sugar, which makes drinking a Coke a real pleasure. It would be perfect if we could just get them to use ice.

Maurice Freedman and his Blog

2009-01-09T08:02:00.001-08:00

Yes, this is a picture